Ajeet and Robert Jokes


Ajit was a famous screen villain (hindi movies) of the past. He is famous for his dialogue delivery. Robert.Micheal and Mona are his sidey's..
The following occurs at the villain's (Ajit) den.
Remember a typical hindi movie scene, where the villain has kidnapped somebody, or is having a conference with his aides..
The dim light, with a full bar in the backdrop.., some scantily dressed girl dancing...etc.. etc.. you know.. the usual.. That's where the following lines are delivered....
Read on and have fun..

Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert iss kuttay ko microprocessor may daal do ! Bit by bit mar jaaya gaa saala!
Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert iss harami ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!
Raaabatt, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...
Raabatt, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pain sey mar jayegaa...
Raabatt, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more sey no-more ho jayegaa...
Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghoomna bandh kar do, nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...
"Raaabert, Harshad Mehta the Bull, ka stool test karaao"
"Kyon boss?"
"Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

Ajeet:   Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440V pass kar do.
         Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket
         kaat-tha reh jaayega.

 
Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajeet:  Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.
        Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.
Raabert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
Ajeet: Kahin par bhi so jao Raabert !!
(Scene - Raabert gets a sidey to Ajeet.) 
Raabert: Baass, humne sidey ko pakad liya
Ajeet:   Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do.
         Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Raabert: Par sui kyon, baass!
Ajeet:   Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!


Raabert: Baass, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
Ajeet:   Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Raabert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
Ajeet:   Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!
(Scene - Ajeet thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.) 
Ajeet:   Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet:   Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger istarrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale breakpoint mein atak jayenge.

Ajeet:   Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajeet:   Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet:   (on phone, to Richards)
     :   Veeveeyun Reechards,tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......
(Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.) 
Ajeet:   Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.
         Timer ko theek das baje set kar do.
         Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai.
         Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
         Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh
         mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.
         Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.
         Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega.
         Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup'
         suanaai dega ..."
(Scene - Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy.) 
Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
        saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

Bob:   Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
(Scene - Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy.) 
Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
        Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.
(Scene - Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !)
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet:   Raabert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN
         aur doosre me OUT likh do.  Ek hole se paani ander aayega
         aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!
(Scene - Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)

Ajeet:  Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet:  Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he           he....

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